BrokeAss Gourmet

BrokeAss Gourmet

Homemade Strawberry Pop-Tarts

If you know my mother, it won’t come as a shock to you that, growing up, Jeremy and I were not allowed to eat Pop-Tarts for breakfast. Pop-Tarts, like Lucky Charms, Pops and Cap’n Crunch were relegated to a category that my brother and I referred to as “vacation food.” Therefore, I associate Pop-Tarts with Lake Tahoe, Hawaii, New Hampshire, Maine and doing Mad Libs in the back seat of a Volvo Stationwagon.

And, of course, college. Because everyone ate Pop-Tarts in college, right?

But these are better than the packaged, cardboard-ish vacation/college Pop-Tarts you’re familiar with. These are light, flaky and very fresh-tasting. Serve with milk, coffee or tea as an afternoon treat (I can’t seem to get behind the idea of eating what is essentially pie for breakfast, but if you can, more power to you).

  • ingredients
  • 1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour, plus more for pan and for rolling Pantry
  • 1 tbsp sugar Pantry
  • 1 tsp salt Pantry
  • 1 stick (4 oz) very cold butter, cut into small pieces $1 for a stick
  • 2 eggs, beaten, divided 1.50 for 12
  • 1 tbsp cream or half-and-half $1.50 for a pint
  • 1/2 cup strawberry (or any kind, really) preserves $3 for 15 oz.
  • 2 tsp cornstarch $1.50 for 12 oz.
Total Cost of Ingredients $7.50

Directions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Lightly flour a baking sheet and set aside.

Combine flour, sugar and salt in a bowl or food processor. Cut in the butter, using 2 forks (or by pulsing the food processor), Stream in one of the eggs and the cream or half-and-half, just until the dough comes together. Refrigerate until ready to use, or immediately turn out onto a lightly floured surface.

Use a rolling pin to roll the dough out into a 10“x12” rectagle (about 1/8” thick). Cut into rectangles of desired size (I did this free-form, though most were about 3“x4”.

Mix the jam together with the cornstarch and 1 tbsp water. Stir well.

Place 1-2 tbsp in the center of half of the rectangles and cover with a second pastry. Press the edges gently to seal, then press again using the back of a lightly-floured fork to create a scalloped border. Arrange tarts on the prepared baking sheet.

Use the fork to gently poke a few holes in the tops of the tarts (this will allow air to escape, keeping the tarts form bursting during baking).

Whisk the remaining egg together with 1/8 cup water to make an egg wash. Brush the tops of the tarts with the egg wash and bake for 18-20 minutes, or until golden brown.

Let cool for at least 5 minutes.

Makes about 6 pop tarts.

Crispy Cornmeal Bagels

May I be frank?

Yes? OK. These bagels were a mistake.

There, I said it. I almost never do this. Generally, if I mess something up in the kitchen, I make my roommates eat it and then promise to never bring it up again. I am, admittedly, less than kind to myself when it comes to my culinary screw-ups.

My plan had been to make chewy, NYC-style bagels. Bagels like these. But, of course, I wanted to be my BrokeAss self and do it with pizza dough. I had made them once before and, while they were OK, they did not fulfill my bagel pipe dreams. So I did some research and it seemed that the problem was that I hadn’t allowed my bagels to rise a second time—so this time I did, and also took extra care not to pull the bagels too much during boiling (another problem I’d had before). Still, when they came out of the oven, they were thin and crisp, not puffy, as I had been hoping. I was about to stuff them into a zip-lock bag with a note that said “Eat Me” and call it a day when, on a whim (and needing lunch), I took a bite.

They were glorious.

They didn’t taste like traditional bagels, but they had the chewy interior down pat. The cornmeal aided the deliciously crispy crust and I found them to be the perfect base for a smear of cream cheese, shredded carrots, sliced tomato and some sliced red onions. They’d also be lovely with hummus, lox, egg salad, or as the base for pizza bagels (note to self: will probably make those soon). They weren’t the results I had been hoping for, but they were something entirely different and equally wonderful. A good lesson learned.

  • ingredients
  • 1 recipe pizza dough $1.50
  • 1 tbsp sugar or honey Pantry
  • oil for the pan
  • medium or fine cornmeal, for sprinkling $3 for 16 oz.
Total Cost of Ingredients $4.50

Directions

Preheat oven to 400 degrees, F. Lightly oil a baking sheet and set aside.

Divide the dough into 6 pieces and shape into balls. Poke a finger through the center of a ball of dough and shape the dough into a bagel (as pictured). Transfer to the greased baking sheet. Repeat with remaining dough.

Cover the dough bagels with a clean, damp dish cloth and let rise for 20 minutes.

While bagels rise, bring a large pot of water to a boil and stir in the sugar or honey.

Very carefully pick up a risen bagel (using the sides of your uncurled hands or a large spatula helps) and drop into the boiling water. Work in batches, boiling the bagels a few at a time for 1 minute. Use a slotted spoon or spatula to gently return to the greased baking sheet.

Once all the bagels have been boiled, sprinkle them lightly with the cornmeal. Bake for 5 minutes, then flip, using a spatula and sprinkle their tops lightly with a pinch more cornmeal.

Bake for another 27-35 minutes or until golden brown and lightly crisp.

Makes 6 large, thin bagels.

Polenta Pancakes with Honey

This morning, while perusing Twitter, I discovered that today is National Pancake Day, when, most notably, one can go into any participating IHOP restaurant and get a short stack of pancakes for free.

The the last time I remember “celebrating” National Pancake Day, I was about 19 years old and accompanied by at least 10 other broke college students in the Boston area’s only IHOP, way out on Soldier’s Road in Brighton. It’s within the realm of possibility that we were not entirely sober upon consumption of our complementary flapjacks, and it is certain that we severely annoyed our server.

Now that I’m much more grown up (ha!), I enjoy these sophisticated cornmeal pancakes at home. Serve with butter and honey, or get creative and add fruit, jams or even black pepper.

  • ingredients
  • 1 cup medium or fine cornmeal $3 for 16 oz.
  • 3/4 cup milk $1.50 for a pint
  • 3/4 tsp salt Pantry
  • 1/2 cup all-purpose flour Pantry
  • 2 tbsp unsalted butter, melted, plus more butter for serving $1 for a stick
  • olive, vegetable or canola oil, for frying Pantry
  • honey, for serving Pantry
Total Cost of Ingredients $5.50

Directions

Put the cornmeal in a bowl. Bring 1 cup of water to a boil and pour it over the cornmeal. Stir in and let sit for 5 minutes, until soft.

Whisk in the milk, salt, flour and melted butter.

Heat a thin layer of oil in a medium frying pan over medium-hight heat.

Pour the pancakes in 1/4 cup increments into the oil (you’ll need to work in batches), and cook until the bottoms are golden-brown and the tops begin to bubble. Flip pancakes and cook on the other side until golden-brown.

Serve the pancakes hot with more butter, if desired, and a drizzle of honey.

Serves 4.

Mexican Breakfast Sausage Patties

Once you try making your own breakfast sausage patties, you’ll never go back to the preservative-laden commercial variety. I happened to have ingredients for Mexican sausages on hand, but feel free to get creative. The only requirements are ground pork (or turkey), garlic, onion, salt, pepper and brown sugar.

  • ingredients
  • 1 lb ground pork $2
  • 1 green jalapeño, diced finely $0.25
  • 2 cloves garlic, chopped Pantry
  • 1/2 small onion, minced $0.50
  • 1 handful fresh cilantro, chopped finely $1 for a bunch
  • 1 tsp ground cumin $1.50 for 1 oz.
  • 1 tsp each salt and pepper Pantry
  • 2 tbsp brown sugar Pantry
  • 1 tbsp olive, vegetable or canola oil for frying Pantry
Total Cost of Ingredients $5.25

Directions

Combine all ingredients except oil in a mixing bowl. Use your hands to combine well and form into 2” sausage patties.

Heat oil in a medium frying pan over medium-high heat and, working in batches, cook sausages for 2-3 minutes on each side, or until brown on the outside and cooked through on the inside.

Serve immediately.

Serves 4-6.

James and I spend a lot of time together. His mom is one of my best friends and so the three of us make frequent trips to Duc Loi, our favorite Asian specialty store, to do our grocery shopping together. Today, we wandered the aisles, gurgling and being cute (well, his mom and I wandered, James took care of the cute gurgling), wondering what to make for dinner. This is what we came up with, and let me just tell you, it is beyond delicious. Not as delicious as James, of course, but pretty damn delicious.

  • ingredients
  • 1 lb ground pork (feel free to use ground turkey or chicken if you prefer) $2
  • 1 1” piece ginger, peeled and chopped $0.50
  • 2 cloves garlic, chopped Pantry
  • 2 scallions, chopped $1 for a bunch
  • 1/2 small onion, finely diced $0.50
  • 2 tsp soy sauce Pantry
  • 1-2 tsp (more/less to taste) Asian chili sauce price included in cost of peanut sauce ingredients
  • 1 medium garnet yam (reddish skin with bright orange flesh), scrubbed and diced $0.50
  • salt to taste Pantry
  • 1/2 cup peanut sauce $7
  • 1 handful fresh cilantro leaves, chopped price included in cost of peanut sauce ingredients
Total Cost of Ingredients $11.50

Directions

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. Lightly grease a baking sheet and set aside.

In a mixing bowl, combine pork, ginger, garlic, scallions, onion, soy sauce and chili sauce. Use hands to mix well. Form into golf ball-sized balls and place on one half of the prepared baking sheet.

Spread the diced sweet potato evenly on the other half of the baking sheet. Sprinkle lightly with salt.

Bake for 10-12 minutes, or until the meatballs are cooked through but still juicy. Leave the oven on.

Pour the peanut sauce into the bottom of a large pie/casserole dish, cast iron or other oven-proof skillet. Arrange the meatballs evenly in the sauce and scatter the sweet potatoes around the meatballs. Return to the oven and cook for 4-5 minutes, or until peanut sauce is heated.

Top with a shower of chopped cilantro and serve immediately.

Serves 2-4.