BrokeAss Gourmet

BrokeAss Gourmet

Buffalo Cauliflower

I've been thinking a lot about adaptation lately. And also about cauliflower. But...I am pretty much always thinking about cauliflower.

Anyone who follows my blog or knows me in person is familiar with my tendency to rhapsodize about the magical transformative abilities of humble cauliflower. From pizza to rice to tortillas to this layered lasagna thing I make every week (which I promise to eventually write about here) lower-carb, cauliflower-ified versions of high-carb starchy foods are my jam (and usually, my dinner). 

The thing about cauliflower transformation is that, even as a chewy tortilla, or in crispy-edged pizza form, its true flavor and texture never actually, truly disappears. No cauliflower creation ever ceases to truly be's just presented in a different, gussied-up form. Sort of like when I have my hair and makeup done: the results are different, fancified, maybe prettier, but at the core, essentially the same as before.

Or maybe like when I get married in just six weeks? I'll be transformed to an extent then, right? I'll wear a special dress, have my hair and makeup done. Put on a ring made especially for me? And then, in front of friends and family, Evan and I will make our union legal. After the wedding, as he and I have been doing for the past four years, we'll continue to adapt. To married life, to permanent love.

But underneath it all, after the ketubah and marriage license have been signed, after my dress, with its intense boob-securing infrastructure (I have been promised several times that the dress won't require a bra. I am suspicious of this.), has been exchanged for a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, and Evan's dapper suit has been replaced by a more casual (but still extremely dapper) get-up, we'll find that, at our respective cores, we are still the same as before. Transformed, adapted--maybe with a few new ingredients added, as it were--but essentially the same as we've always been.

Kind of like this Buffalo Cauliflower: decorated, adapted, transformed...but at its heart, still cauliflower. 



  • 1 medium cauliflower, cored and cut into florets $2.50
  • 2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil Pantry
  • 1/4 teaspoon kosher Pantry
  • 1/4 cup hot sauce, such as Tabasco, Frank's or Crystal $2.50 for 12 ounces
  • 2 tablespoons butter, melted $1 for a stick
  • juice of half a lemon $0.50 for a whole lemon
  • freshly ground black pepper, to taste Pantry
  • ranch or blue cheese dressing, for serving optional


  1. Preheat the oven to 450 degrees F.
  2. In a mixing bowl, toss the cauliflower florets with the oil and salt.
  3. Spread in an even layer on a rimmed, greased baking pan, and roast until they start to brown, about 15 minutes.
  4. While the cauliflower roasts, whisk together the hot sauce, butter, lemon juice, and black pepper.
  5. Remove the cauliflower from the oven, but leave the oven on.
  6. Using a spatula, scrape the roasted cauliflower into the hot sauce mixture, stir well to coat, then scrape the whole thing, sauce and all, onto the pan.
  7. Return to the oven and roast for an additional 15 minutes, then remove from oven and transfer to a serving platter.
  8. Serve with blue cheese dressing or ranch dressing

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In this episode, Tariq roasts tv host Roland Martin for playing both sides of thefence.

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Kim8/3/2016 11:42:15 pm
Great show. I was laughing so hard. That stuttering part was too funny

Lovejones 8/3/2016 11:46:35 pm
I’d been known that Roland Martin was a coon.

Sweet T8/4/2016 09:08:45 am
Ditto.. out the gate. Lookin like a little turtle. You can’t trust them eyes!

B.Diddy8/4/2016 12:22:26 am
Tariq, boy did you go in on soft shoe mister coon number #1Roland Martin. He being Roland should have never went in on you uncalled for period.Tariq, has been showing love for years on various issues from relationship advice, self-improvement, how to start up a business, and how to combat with suspected white supremacist. Keep doing your thing Tariq!

Mike818/4/2016 07:16:54 am
Yo! Stick a forky in porky! Roast this nigga all the way! Peep game.

Hors Sfier8/4/2016 08:04:39 am
Man, after Tariq roasted Star Wars’ Finn, I couldn’t watch that movie without thinking about Mr. Bojangles.

That Porky Pig impression was a classic. I am no fan of Black people going at it on the Internet for the entertainment of white people. I put that on Roland, he should have called Tariq and encouraged him to apologize to Yodit offline. And that dance with Hillary was just disgraceful. Every time white people want to get around Black people and exploit something, they start dancing or hip hopping. I just stare at them until they stop.

The only time you see Black people like Yodit Tewolde, Thomas Sowell, Jesse Lee Peterson, David A. Clark, etc., on white media is when they are placed there to demean Black people. They never get asked about foreign, economic, environmental policy, etc. They just get pulled out of the puppet closet to tap dance for their white masters and then they get put right back in there. I worked at a company right out of school. One day the senior manager called me up. I thought he had some super important project for me to do. Turned out this white man just wanted to hand off the diversity committee work he was supposed to do onto me. Instead of tech work, I had to work diversity issues. After that, I learned to be real suspicious of being the white supremacists shield.

Tariq was right on this one that they lined up some Black people to go against him. You need to know that is going to be their first move. A lot of Black people do not deal with whites outside of work so the only way to keep the Black community destabilized is to recruit these bed wenches and buck dancers. People forget that HBCUs had a lot of spies for the FBI, that every major Black organization is infiltrated.

You can disagree with another Black 100% but never let yourself get used. Even when I had problems in corporate america with blatant bed wenches and buck dancers, I kept that beef out of the radar of the white supremacists. Arguing with them in public would never put me in a better position. I kept my head cool long enough to escape the situation. I saw a bed wench get slapped by a white supremacist. I saw a buck dancer get screamed on and fired by a white supremacist. So no need to entertain beef. Everyone gets that wake up call. If I remember Roland got booted from CNN. But they keep Blitzer and Don Lemon. smh.

Episodes like this one is why I say that I do not believe and do not care about Black unity. It is too much work to save lost people. You need to get together with enough woke Black people to accumulate money and power. That is my code. If I get around a Black who is not talking and producing money and power, then I file that Black to the entertainment file. We don’t even have to like each other to collaborate and break bread.

I am glad at least that Tariq admitted to being petty. I think he sometimes gets emotional on some of his commentary. But I still have mad respect for dude for copping to that internal issue.

Mr. Jon8/5/2016 09:39:54 pm
“You can disagree with another Black 100% but never let yourself get used.”

Did you see that Youtube clip of a gay older black man with a blacklivesmatter shirt arguing with this young, eloquent, clearly-white washed coon of a child who supported Trump?

I cringed the entire time!

The boy was surrounded by Beckies, he was getting pats on the back for being their attack dog… he had no idea he was being used. He was educated and probably believed in the “work hard and racism won’t be a problem” logic.

The older black dude was ineloquent and getting emotional.

1. I had no idea why he was arguing with a child. I’d never argue with children, it makes them see you as an “equal” who they can scream at.

2. At the end of the day, it was a lot of white people standing around while a young coon of a kid was putting down a less articulate, older black man…

It was embarrassing. It served no functional purpose than white entertainment…

And they say W.E.T. doesn’t exist. _
Hors Sfier8/6/2016 12:56:32 am
Yeah, I saw that clip. The old man should not have been arguing with a young Black kid. It is a shame that young boy was so naive.
He is going to get his Tim Scott wake up call any day now. Wait until he asks out the daughter of a Trump supporter.

The thing about these buck dancers is that they have to walk a thin line with these white people. Check out what happened to Michael Steele when he became the token head of the RNC during Obama’s first term. Those good old boys ran Steele out of the RNC.

Those white people are going to see themselves as grown and still see that kid as a boy. I don’t even bother correcting Black people with that mindset because they are isolated and bleeding in the midst of hyenas. When those white boys turn on the buck dancers, you will see that buck dancer turn into the most pro-Black person since Malcolm X. No joke. Most of the pro-Black women I know dated a white man and that situation got weird, on some negro bed wench flavor.

The thing that I am realizing and Tariq said this himself, is that money talks and everything else is garbage. I don’t get into any debates about politics or whatever. No matter who is president, I want Black people to be economically sound. Whenever I get around Black people, I talk about the money or at the least being productive. Even if we are not making profits together, I need to know that the Black is productive. Unfortunately, due to the fear of confronting our oppressors, Black people will get into these dead end conversations that go absolutely nowhere. I want to hear about technology, money and weaponry. That about it. I don’t need to hear a bunch of people talking. I respect Tariq, Jason Black, Boyce Watkins and Dame Dash because they actually built things without being on the leash of some race soldier.

I saw a weird interview with Aries Spiers on Vlad TV where Vlad tells Aries point blank that he should own his own stuff and do his own thing. Aries said, nah, he wants the corporation. I was like, damn, when the corporate suits at Fox and Mad TV had Aries, they wasted his talent. Him and Debra Wilson. Both of the looked like they were on that narcotic. Better to go off on your own than to let some company use up the best of your talents.

TWise8/4/2016 08:20:34 am
Rayyyy!! Funny ass hell

Craig Stevens 8/4/2016 09:23:00 am
Loved your show

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