BrokeAss Gourmet

BrokeAss Gourmet

Red Cabbage Striptease Cupcakes with Cream Cheese Icing

I have a major aversion to doing the expected. So much so that, once, when I was seventeen years old and a classmate told me at a party that I would probably “always lead a predictable life,” I climbed up onto a picnic table in front of at least half of my high school’s senior class and took my clothing off. That’s right, guys. There I was: studious, naive, good-girl Gabi Moskowitz, drunk and naked. Bet you didn’t see that coming.

And so, when I found myself with an excess of shredded red cabbage, I thought, at first of the obvious: I could make slaw, braised cabbage, cabbage rolls or sausage-and-cabbage. It would all probably be delicious, but it would be so typical. And I don’t do typical. So I made a carrot-cake-ish batter and stirred in the striking red cabbage (purple, much like the bottle of Manischewitz wine I drank before my five minutes of naked fame). I added chopped apricots and cashews in place of the more common raisins and walnuts. The result was sweet—but not too sweet. Are you following my theme here?

So here you go. A throw-back to my most embarrassing (and in a way, most glorious) high school moment. In the form of a cupcake.

  • Ingredients
  • 2¼ cups all-purpose flour Pantry
  • 1¾ cup sugar Pantry
  • 1 tsp baking soda Pantry
  • 2 tsp baking powder Pantry
  • 2 tsp ground cinnamon $1.50 for 1 oz.
  • 1/2 tsp salt Pantry
  • 3 eggs $1.50 for 12
  • 3/4 cup milk $1 for a pint
  • 1 cup canola or vegetable oil Pantry
  • pure vanilla extract $4 for 4 oz.
  • 1 cup finely-shredded red cabbage (if you use the pre-packaged kind, run a knife over it several times before using) $1.50 for an 8-oz. bag
  • 1/4 cup dried apricots, chopped, plus more for garnish $2
  • 1/2 cup roasted cashews, chopped, plus more for garnish 1.50
  • 1 cup sour cream or yogurt $1.50 for 8 oz.
  • 1 8-oz. package cream cheese $1.50
  • 1 stick (4 tbsp) unsalted butter $1 for a stick
  • 3 cups powdered (confectioner’s) sugar $1 for 16 oz.
Total Cost of Ingredients $17


Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Grease or line 24 muffin cups and set aside.

Combine flour, sugar, baking soda, baking powder, cinnamon and salt in a mixing bowl. Stir well.

Beat together eggs, milk, oil and 2 tsp. vanilla. Slowly add dry mixture until a batter forms. Add cabbage, apricots, cashews and yogurt and stir until well-combined.

Divide batter evenly between muffin cups. Bake for 30-35 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted comes out with crumbs attached. Let cool.

While cupcakes bake, beat together (a stand-up mixer, hand mixer or food processor works well for this) cream cheese, butter and powdered sugar. Stream in 4 tsp vanilla. Continue beating 2-3 minutes, until fluffy. Refrigerate until ready to use.

Once cupcakes have cooled, ice each one with 1-2 tbsp icing and garnish with chopped apricots and cashews.

Makes about 24 cupcakes.

Category: Meals

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What They're Saying

Jen, on Dec 27, 05:41 PM, wrote:

Wow, sounds fantastic :). Hey, if carrot cake works, why not cabbage cupcakes with some sweetness mixed in. Love your creative ideas.

Garrett deRosset, on Dec 27, 08:03 PM, wrote:


Jess, on Dec 28, 04:52 AM, wrote:

Love the story as much as the fancy cupcakes :)

Amanda, on Jan 2, 09:09 PM, wrote:

Just made the cupcakes minus the cream cheese frosting (so far) and they’re pretty awesome!

Dentists Peterborough, on Oct 6, 09:30 AM, wrote:

This is worth it to read.