BrokeAss Gourmet

BrokeAss Gourmet

Eggless Egg Salad

I attended elementary school in the early heyday of the Lunchable, AKA the ultimate cafeteria lunchtime trade item. Tiny plastic cartons with dividers separating a stack of cheddar cheese, a stack of golden butter crackers, and some slimy pink lunchmeat (usually turkey or ham) were the Hidden Valley Elementary School fourth grader's ticket to trading her way to an optimal lunch. It was the lunchbox equivalent of a royal flush.

My lunchbox, on the other hand (My Little Ponies from first through third grade, scrunchy brown bags with my name scrawled on them, so as to not look like such a baby from fourth grade onward), with its sprouted, meatless contents never got me far in the midday meal barter game. My mother, who had embraced the whole-foods-bulk-bin-health-food-co-op approach to food in the 1980s, packed my lunch with the kinds of life-affirming foods nutritional gurus like Drs. Weil and MacDougall would have given their stamp of approval: apple "purses" (whole apples, cored and filled with peanut butter and raisins), rice cakes, sliced vegetables (she tried to get me excited by calling them "crudité," as if I cared about seeming chic and french while I ate my carrot sticks at recess), and today's subject: eggless egg salad, a creamy blend of soft tofu, turmeric (for flavor and egg-like color), onions, celery, a little mayonnaise and fresh dill. She would pack it in a little Tupperware container, with crackers (obviously not Ritz--think brick-like, seeded, bran-heavy crackers) or on a sprouted whole wheat bagel.

While I craved the sort of schoolyard clout that came with having Lunchables in my lunch (other big ticket items: fluffy, crustless white bread and American cheese sandwiches, Oreos, and any sort of flavored chip or cheese puff), I secretly loved my hippie lunches. But the other kids teased me for eating tofu (then a relatively uncommon food in American households) and so I often took to eating them in the girls' bathroom to avoid taunting. And despite my actual preferences, I asked my mother to pack me something a little more "normal" so as to spare me being called, "Tofu Girl" at lunchtime.

"That is a very stupid nickname and there is no way I'm giving you white bread and chips for lunch, Gabrielle," she told me. Gabrielle, my full first name, was what she called me when she meant business. "Just ignore the teasing and eventually they'll get bored and stop."

I pushed back. "But nobody will ever trade with me if you keep giving me all this healthy stuff!" 

"Good," she replied. "I don't want you eating their crappy food anyway."

I sighed. Eggless egg salad it was, and thus began my first lesson on the wisdom of doing something that doesn't look cool and doesn't win me any popularity points, but is the right thing to do anyway. The next day I decided to start eating lunch in the cafeteria again, opting out of the lunchtime trade. And she was right: I ignored the teasing and it eventually it stopped. 

So here's to my mom, and all moms, who stood their ground, when it would have been so much easier to just give in to their whining children. They taught us to be strong, to be true to ourselves, and to eat our gross-looking lunches out in the open, despite the naysayers. 

Eggless egg salad is one of my favorite quick vegetarian protein sources, even to this day. It starts with soft tofu (you could use medium or firm tofu, but it won't have that egg-white-like texture, plus celery, shallot (you could use regular or green onions too), fresh dill, plus cayenne for spice, and turmeric for flavor and egg-like color.

You smush up the tofu so it looks like crumbled hard-boiled eggs. This part is fun.

Stir everything together, with a little mayonnaise and mustard to bind and flavor it, as well as a little salt and pepper.

Let it chill in the fridge for at least 30 minutes (this improves the texture). 

Eat on a toasted bagel (or on lightly dressed greens, or with crackers or "crudité," or by itself). Listen to your mom. Ignore the haters.

Ingredients

  • 14 ounces soft tofu $1.50 
  • 1/4 cup mayonnaise (use eggless mayonnaise for a vegan version) Pantry
  • 1 stalk celery, diced small $1.50 for a bunch
  • 1/2 medium shallot, diced $0.50 for a whole shallot
  • 1/2 teaspoon ground turmeric $1.50 for 1 ounce
  • 1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper $1.50 for 1 ounce
  • 1 tablespoon (or more to taste) your favorite mustard $2.50 for 6 ounces
  • salt and pepper to taste Pantry

Recipe Serves 4-6

Directions

  1. Drain the tofu and place it in a mixing bowl.
  2. Use your clean hands to crumble it, being careful not to overwork it--a few squeezes will do.
  3. Gently fold in the mayonnaise, mixing well to distribute evenly.
  4. Str in the celery, shallot, spices, and salt, and pepper to taste.
  5. Chill for at least 30 minutes.
  6. Serve plain, with crackers, over greens, on toast, or on a bagel.

Leave a Comment

Textile help (For formatting your comment)

What They're Saying

Punjabi Call Girls in Mumbai, on Mar 14, 02:17 AM, wrote:

http://www.priyaescorts.in
http://www.priyaescorts.in/kolkata-escorts.html
http://www.priyaescorts.in/mumbai-escorts.html
http://www.priyaescorts.in/ahmedabad-escorts.html
http://www.priyaescorts.in/bangalore-escorts.html
http://www.priyaescorts.in/chennai-escorts.html
http://www.priyaescorts.in/chandigarh-escorts.html
http://www.priyaescorts.in/pune-escorts.html
http://www.priyaescorts.in/goa-escorts.html
http://www.priyaescorts.in/amritsar-escorts.html
http://www.priyaescorts.in/jaipur-escorts.html
http://www.priyaescorts.in/gurgaon-escorts.html

packers and movers in kangra, on Mar 26, 02:13 AM, wrote:

I think this is one of the best blog for me because this is really helpful for me. Thanks for sharing this valuable information for free…

Packers and Movers in Gurgaon, on Apr 17, 03:43 AM, wrote:

http://www.igetsolutions.in/packers-and-movers-gurgaon
http://www.igetsolutions.in/packers-and-movers-bhopal
http://www.igetsolutions.in/packers-and-movers-jaipur
http://www.igetsolutions.in/packers-and-movers-chennai

Hanner, on Apr 27, 03:44 AM, wrote:

Have you tried adding Kala Namak (aka black salt) to this? I guess it adds a sulfur flavor reminiscent of real eggs, but not nasty. However, that would be not as nostalgic as your mom’s recipe. The black salt is on my list of things to try whenever (if ever) bulk bins exist again. Your mom’s recipe is a classic as is!
Cute wedding photo! You both look great! Hope you are both doing well in this peculiar time.

happy wheels, on May 7, 02:38 AM, wrote:

Thanks for your helpful information. I have been struggling to find many questions about this issue. I will follow you!

Yamini DAs, on May 7, 05:47 AM, wrote:

Are you looking forward to have unique sensual experience? No matter how gorgeous Call Girls in Dwarka your spouse could be at your home, yet your heart still wants something unique, right? If you are a working professional many times you probably ponder and wish to have an escape from such monotonous life. Now what lies ahead is to think out how you could overcome your monotony. Well, here we would like to give you one idea how you can do so.

kolkata vip girls, on May 10, 08:38 AM, wrote:

http://www.kolkatavipgirls.in/
http://www.kolkatavipgirls.in/about/
http://www.kolkatavipgirls.in/gallery/
http://www.kolkatavipgirls.in/service/

https://kolkatavipgirls1.blogspot.com/

Kingston Roofers, on May 12, 02:00 AM, wrote:

It looks so delicious! Thanks for sharing the recipe! ~ Kingston Roofers

online pokies australia paypal, on May 25, 06:09 AM, wrote:

I think it is very tasty. I want to ask you how you spend your free time? For example, I like to play online slots. This is my favorite hobby.

escorts service in kolkata, on May 26, 08:19 AM, wrote:

kolkata escorts
https://www.natashaescortservices.com/
https://www.natashaescortservices.com/russian-escorts-in-kolkata
https://www.natashaescortservices.com/call-girls-kolkata
https://www.natashaescortservices.com/kolkata-call-girl-rates
https://www.natashaescortservices.com/models-hot-photos

mobile app development company in delhi, on Jun 29, 03:54 AM, wrote:

Tekniko Global is a Top mobile app development company in Noida, Delhi. We have core expert for IOS app & Android application development. We provide Custom Mobile App development services at reasonable cost.

온카지노사이트인포, on Jul 2, 01:22 AM, wrote:

I do agree with all the ideas you have presented in your post. They are very convincing and will certainly work. Still, the posts are too short for beginners. Could you please extend them a little from next time? Thanks for the post.
<a href=“https://www.oncasinosite.info” target=”_blank” title=“온카지노사이트인포”>온카지노사이트인포</a>

Pittsburgh marketing agency, on Jul 3, 02:06 AM, wrote:

If you are searching best and organic SEO service agency in Pittsburgh which provide 1st page result in Google with effective strategy. You can contact with Admoveo Marketing Agency in Pittsburgh which provide stable organic result at affordable budget.

https://macscrack.com/, on Jul 8, 03:09 AM, wrote:

This site have various software articles which seems a helpful and useful for you personal, professional software installation.This is the spot where you can get helps for any software installation, usage and cracked.

사설토토, on Jul 8, 05:57 AM, wrote:

you are actually a excellent webmaster. The web site
loading speed is amazing. It kind of feels that you’re doing any distinctive trick.
<a href=“https://www.totopick.pro” target=”_blank” title=“사설토토”>사설토토</a>

Free Classified Ads in India, on Aug 3, 09:51 PM, wrote:

Free classifieds in india – Schloka. Post Free ads For Al over Cities of inida with Escorts And Call Girls category.

Corporate Law, on Aug 5, 02:11 PM, wrote:

Your web page is great.I can tell you have put a lot of work into it.

Air duct cleaning Miami, on Aug 5, 10:59 PM, wrote:

Thanks for sharing this article that full with reliable information.
We are duct cleaners in Miami. It’s a fast service you can deal with best dealers to take any type of carpet cleaning, greenhouse ventilation, and freezer control and air duct services.

Escort Services in Pune | IsaJain.com, on Aug 6, 12:41 AM, wrote:

Hello I am Isajain Pune models you have shared magnificent article. I truly like and value your work. The focuses you have referenced in this article are useful,Excellent perused, Positive site, where did u thought of the data on this posting? I have perused a couple of the articles on your site now, and I truly like your style. Much obliged and please keep up the compelling work
Visit my Website

http://www.isajain.com/
http://www.isajain.com/pune-call-girls.php
http://www.isajain.com/hyderabad-escorts.php
http://www.isajain.com/chennai-escorts.php
http://www.isajain.com/kochi-escorts.php
http://www.isajain.com/surat-escorts.php
http://www.isajain.com/kolkata-escorts.php
http://www.isajain.com/ahmedabad-escorts.php
http://www.isajain.com/indore-escorts.php
http://www.isajain.com/vadodara-escorts.php
http://www.isajain.com/pune-escorts.php
http://www.isajain.com/pune-independent-escorts.php
http://www.isajain.com/pune-escorts-agency.php
http://www.isajain.com/pune-collegegirl-escorts.php
http://www.isajain.com/pune-celebrity-escorts.php
http://www.isajain.com/pune-airhostess-escorts.php
http://www.isajain.com/pune-model-escorts.php
http://www.isajain.com/pune-russian-escorts.php
http://www.isajain.com/pune-escorts-service.php
http://www.isajain.com/pune-hotel-escorts.php
http://www.isajain.com/pune-housewife-escorts.php
http://www.isajain.com/shivaji-nagar-escorts.php
http://www.isajain.com/deccan-escorts.php
http://www.isajain.com/pimpri-escorts.php
http://www.isajain.com/hinjewadi-escorts.php
http://www.isajain.com/kalyani-nagar-escorts.php
http://www.isajain.com/swargate-escorts.php
http://www.isajain.com/katraj-escorts.php
http://www.isajain.com/kharadi-escorts.php
http://www.isajain.com/koregaon-park-escorts.php
http://www.isajain.com/kondhwa-escorts.php
http://www.isajain.com/magarpatta-escorts.php
http://www.isajain.com/viman-nagar-escorts.php
http://www.isajain.com/hadapsar-escorts.php
http://www.isajain.com/pimple-saudagar-escorts.php
http://www.isajain.com/mahabaleshwar-escorts.php
http://www.isajain.com/navi-mumbai-escorts.php
http://www.isajain.com/khandala-escorts.php
http://www.isajain.com/lonavala-escorts.php
http://www.isajain.com/nagpur-escorts.php
http://www.isajain.com/nashik-escorts.php
http://www.isajain.com/gandhinagar-escorts.php
http://www.isajain.com/vijayawada-escorts.php
http://www.isajain.com/mount-abu-escorts.php
http://www.isajain.com/palanpur-escorts.php
http://www.isajain.com/jamnagar-escorts.php
http://www.isajain.com/mehsana-escorts.php
http://www.isajain.com/bharuch-escorts.php
http://www.isajain.com/rajkot-escorts.php
http://www.isajain.com/morbi-escorts.php
http://www.isajain.com/daman-escorts.php
http://www.isajain.com/anand-escorts.php
http://www.isajain.com/vapi-escorts.php

Goa Escorts Service, on Aug 9, 02:46 AM, wrote:

https://hiclass.kashishroy.com/

https://hiclass.kashishroy.com/about/

https://hiclass.kashishroy.com/contact/

anika malhotra, on Aug 24, 02:24 AM, wrote:

Thanks for sharing this article that full with reliable information. we know you don’t happy with your sensual life so want to meet me once

Gordon Mike, on Oct 2, 07:10 AM, wrote:

Wow this Salad has a great value added to my dinner meal. thanks for sharing.

anikamalhotra, on Oct 5, 03:09 AM, wrote:

I am Anika Malhotra work in Lucknow escort. If you want to play sensual games or have some fun with me then visit my website.

emma, on Oct 22, 12:52 AM, wrote:

Much appreciation to you for such an excellent total for sharing this one truly all around outlined all calm info, I really like it, Thanks for sharing.
http://www.escortservicemanchester.co.uk/

Rihana, on Oct 22, 12:56 AM, wrote:

Faltering, it’s so interesting. I trust one day I can encounter http://www.liverpoolincallescorts.co.uk/ these things. I appreciate you for sharing your experience. It’s incomprehensibly useful to me.

parul, on Oct 22, 11:43 PM, wrote:

Really nice food. Your recopies are amazing. thanks for sharing with us.

Yanon, on Nov 18, 04:06 AM, wrote:

Are you in need of professional hacking service? contact: CYBERVENOM6@GMAIL.COM His services are 100% safe and 100% guaranteed, they are professionals to satisfy one’s needs in hacking services such as
  • hacking of social networks in general, for example, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Skype
  • Changes and updating of the university school
  • Hack university notes and transcripts
  • Clear criminal record
  • General hacking and database penetration
  • PayPal accounts verified hacking
  • Word Press Blogs hacking
  • Hack all social media accounts
  • Hack all Android, iPhone and Windows Mobile devices
  • raise credit score
  • Western Union MTCN and Moneygram Hack
  • Hacking and deleting videos and CCTV history
  • Hack bank logins, money transfer, credit transfer, clear credit records, credit repair report
  • Increase Facebook, Instagram followers and likes
  • Tracking and recovery of cars, mobile phones
  • Court of bank accounts
  • email account hacking
  • Website blocked hacking
  • delete YouTube videos or increase views
  • school transfer and forgery of certificates
  • Recovery of lost files or documents
    *Recovery of money lost to scam brokers or fruad
  • hacking of bank details and credit card hacking
  • Clear fingerprints from all databases and servers on the website
  • crypto loading
    and other types of hacking services.
    Reach him at: CYBERVENOM6@GMAIL.COM
    The solution to all your hacking problems is here

us map, on Dec 24, 12:21 AM, wrote:

Join hands to protect the health of loved ones and community from corona virus with the best practices that health professionals recommend wearing a mask every day in public and washing hands with an antiseptic solution.

lucknow escorts, on Dec 26, 02:57 AM, wrote:

https://dipikapor.com/
https://dipikapor.com/about.html
https://dipikapor.com/gallery.html
https://dipikapor.com/contact.html
https://dipikapor.com/bangalore-escorts.html
https://dipikapor.com/chennai-escorts.html
https://dipikapor.com/delhi-escorts.html
https://dipikapor.com/hyderabad-escorts.html
https://dipikapor.com/kolkata-escorts.html
https://dipikapor.com/mumbai-escorts.html
https://dipikapor.com/nagpur-escorts.html
https://dipikapor.blogspot.com/

kolkata escorts, on Dec 26, 03:40 AM, wrote:

http://kolkatavipgirls.in/
http://kolkatavipgirls.in/about.html
http://kolkatavipgirls.in/gallery.html
http://kolkatavipgirls.in/service.html
http://kolkatavipgirls.in/contact.html
https://kolkatavipgirls2.blogspot.com/

chennai escorts, on Dec 26, 04:00 AM, wrote:

http://kmaliapartygirl.in/
http://kmaliapartygirl.in/about.html
http://kmaliapartygirl.in/service.html
http://kmaliapartygirl.in/contact.html
https://kmaliapartygirl1.blogspot.com/

Escorts in Mumbai, on Jan 7, 04:06 AM, wrote:

http://www.mumbaipearls.com/mulund-escorts.html
http://www.mumbaipearls.com/nariman-point-escorts.html
http://www.mumbaipearls.com/nerul-escorts.html
http://www.mumbaipearls.com/panvel-escorts.html
http://www.mumbaipearls.com/santacruz-escorts.html
http://www.mumbaipearls.com/vashi-escorts.html
http://www.mumbaipearls.com/vikhroli-escorts.html
http://www.mumbaipearls.com/vile-parle-escorts.html
http://www.mumbaipearls.com/wadala-escorts.html
http://www.mumbaipearls.com/worli-escorts.html
http://www.mumbaipearls.com/yashodham-escorts.html
http://www.mumbaipearls.com/agra-escorts.html
http://www.mumbaipearls.com/aligarh-escorts.html

온라인카지노, on Jan 15, 05:10 AM, wrote:

It was introduced by meaning, and Blairism and Blairite are British
http://xn—o80b27i69npibp5en0j.vom77.comhttp://xn—o80b27i69npibp5en0j.vom77.com

jyoti kumar, on Feb 17, 10:15 PM, wrote:

hi , I am jyoti . it is more delicious dish and thanks for sharing the raspy to cook us and thanks for sharing great dish .<a href=“https://russiandelhicallgirls.blogspot.com/2021/01/delhi-call-girls-agency-where-all.html”> Call Girls in Delhi </a>
<a href=“https://russiandelhicallgirls.blogspot.com/2021/01/delhi-call-girls-agency-where-all.html”> Delhi Call Girls </a>
<a href=“https://russiandelhicallgirls.blogspot.com/2021/01/delhi-call-girls-agency-where-all.html”> Call Girl Service in Delhi </a>
<a href=“https://russiandelhicallgirls.blogspot.com/2021/01/delhi-call-girls-agency-where-all.html”> Call Girls Service </a>