BrokeAss Gourmet

BrokeAss Gourmet

Chocolate Graves

  • Prep Time 0:45
  • Cook Time 0:02
  • Estimated Cost $13
  • 16 Comments

Preface: Please do not take me less seriously as a writer and chef because of the absurd cuteness of these little cups of deliciousness.

I originally saw this clever idea in an old issue of Sunset Magazine, but it involved making custardy and time-consuming pots de creme and baking the cookies from scratch. I cut the time and effort down by making fresh (and much quicker) chocolate mousse. And while I generally stay away from packaged cookies, this recipe is made easier and is not compromised by store-bought Milanos (they’re just the most perfect gravestone shape) and crushed Oreos for chocolate cookie dirt.

Serve these as the final course to a Halloween dinner party, perhaps featuring Brown Butter-Pumpkin Mac and Cheese.

Ingredients

  • 1 25-oz. box chocolate sandwich cookies (such as Oreos or Newman-O's) $2.50
  • 1 cup semisweet chocolate chips $2.50
  • 1/2 cup water, divided
  • 2 tbsp butter $1 for a stick
  • 3 egg yolks $1.50 for 12 eggs
  • 2 tbsp sugar Pantry
  • 1 half-pint heavy whipping cream, whipped (do not use aerosol prepared whipped cream) $2
  • 6 Pepperidge Farms Milano cookies $4 for a 6-oz., bag
  • springs of mint for garnish optional

Directions

  1. Use a food processor to crush the sandwich cookies (alternately, place them in a gallon-size zip-lock bag, press the air out of the bag and seal it, then use a rolling pin to crush the cookies). This will be your graves' "dirt."
  2. Next, use a microwave or double boiler, to heat the chocolate chips, 1/4 cup water and the butter until the chocolate and butter are melted.
  3. Use a small whisk or fork to stir until very smooth.
  4. Let chocolate mixture cool for about 10 minutes.
  5. Pour about 3 tbsp of the chocolate mixture into a small bowl and set aside.
  6. Fill a large bowl about half-way full with ice and set aside.
  7. In a small heavy saucepan, whisk egg yolks, sugar and remaining water.
  8. Cook and stir over low heat until mixture begins to thicken, about 2 minutes.
  9. Remove from the heat; whisk in chocolate mixture. Set saucepan in ice and stir until cooled, about 5-10 minutes.
  10. Fold in whipped cream until completely combined. Place bowl of chocolate mousse in the refrigerator.
  11. Use a rubber scraper to transfer the reserved chocolate into a pastry bag with a very fine tip. If you don't have a pastry bag (I don't), use a plastic sandwich bag. Push the chocolate all the way into a corner and use scissors to snip the tiniest corner off (no more than 1/16th of an inch). Then use your bag of chocolate to pipe the letters "RIP" or anything else you like (it might be fun to pipe your guests' initials) onto the top half of each Milano cookie.
  12. Place the finished cookies on a clean plate and place it in the refrigerator to encourage the chocolate to set.
  13. To assemble the graves, divide the mousse betwee 6 short glasses.
  14. Top with a handful of the chocolate cookie "dirt" and push the end of a Milano tombstone into the "dirt." Add a sprig of fresh mint if you like.
  15. Serve immediately or refrigerate for up to 4 hours.

Category: Meals

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Pepper Pirate Boats

  • Prep Time 0:30
  • Cook Time 3 minutes
  • Estimated Cost $9
  • 27 Comments

Let’s just face it—Halloween has the power to drive even the best of us to get a little bit cheesy—and I’m not referring to the cheeses present in this recipe. I am talking about the fact that I went to the trouble to make cutesy pirate “flags” for these “boats.” And I have to admit, I really enjoyed it. Now I want to make everything cute and fun. Next thing you know I’ll be Bedazzling.

Of course, you don’t have to make the pirate flags for these if you don’t want to…but you should.

Ingredients

  • 10 sweet mini bell peppers $3.50 for a 16-oz. bag
  • 8 oz. cream cheese (or creamy goat cheese) $2
  • 3/4 cup shredded cheddar, white cheddar, jack, pepperjack or fontina cheese $3.50 for 8 oz.
  • 3 green onions, chopped $1 for a bunch
  • 1 small handful fresh flat-leaf parsley, cilantro or basil, chopped finely $1 for a bunch
  • 1/4 tsp each salt Pantry
  • freshly-ground black pepper to taste Pantry
  • 1-2 small cloves garlic, very finely minced Pantry
  • toothpicks
  • small slips of paper
  • tape or glue

Recipe Serves 4-5

Directions

  1. Slice the peppers in half, lengthwise. Use a knife or your fingers to remove the seeds. Set aside.
  2. In a mixing bowl, combine the cream cheese, shredded cheese, green onions parsley, salt, pepper and garlic.
  3. Fill each pepper "boat" with the cheese mixture and arrange on a platter. 
  4. Refrigerate until ready to serve. (For hot boats, arrange the filled pepper halves on an ungreased baking sheet and pop under the broiler for 2-3 minutes until very bubbly. Some of the filling may come out--just scoop it back in. Let cool slightly before serving.)
  5. To make the toothpick flags, cut white paper into 3" x 1" strips (or cut white Post-It notes in half). 
  6. Use a black marker to draw skull and crossbones (as pictured) or any other design on one half of the paper. 
  7. Wrap the slip of paper around the top of a toothpick and use tape or glue to secure the "flag" in place (i found a glue stick worked well for this). 
  8. Stick a toothpick flag into the center of each cheesy pepper boat.

Category: Meals

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Pumpkin Gnocchi with Onions and Sage

  • Prep Time 0:15
  • Cook Time 0:15
  • Estimated Cost $9.50
  • 23 Comments

This quintessentially autumnal dish is much easier to make than it looks. Once you get your timing right with the boiling water and the browning onions and sage, it can be thrown together in about a half-hour. Serve as a side dish alongside roast chicken or on its own.

If you were so inclined, a bit of lightly pan-fried pancetta would be a good addition, but it doesn’t need it.

Ingredients

  • 1/2 cup canned pumpkin $1.50 for a 15-oz. can
  • 1/2 cup ricotta cheese (I prefer the whole milk kind) $4 for 14 oz.
  • 1 cup flour, plus more for rolling Pantry
  • 1 egg $1.50 for 6
  • dash of nutmeg optional
  • 1/2 tsp salt Pantry
  • freshly ground black pepper Pantry
  • 6 tbsp butter $1 for a stick
  • 1 medium onion, sliced $0.50 
  • 6-7 fresh sage leaves $1 for a bunch

Recipe Serves 4

Directions

  1. Set a large pot of salted water on a stove and turn heat on high boil.
  2. In a mixing bowl, combine pumpkin, ricotta, flour, egg, nutmeg (if using) salt and a few grinds of fresh black pepper. Stir gently to form a very soft dough.
  3. Dust a clean plate with flour and set it next to your work area. Turn the dough out on a lightly-floured surface and divide into 6 balls. 
  4. Roll each ball into a long, cylindrical "snake," about 3/4” thick. Using a very sharp knife, cut into 1” “pillows.” Set aside on a lightly-floured plate.
  5. Melt butter in a large frying pan over medium-high heat. 
  6. Add the onions and sage. 
  7. Let cook for 6-7 minutes until onions brown and sage becomes somewhat crispy.
  8. While the onions and sage cook, lower the temperature on the boiling water slightly so you have a light boil. 
  9. Working in batches cook the gnocchi for 2-3 minutes, or until they float to the surface of the pot. Remove with a slotted spoon.
  10. Transfer the boiled, drained gnocchi to the butter-onion-sage mixture and toss well to coat all the gnocchi with butter. 
  11. Let gnocchi cook for 2-2 1/2 minutes on each side to ensure they brown nicely.
  12. To serve, divide among 2-4 plates and top with more freshly-ground black pepper if desired. Serve hot.

Category: Meals

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Poached Eggs over Garlicky Kale

  • Prep Time 0:10
  • Cook Time 0:15
  • Estimated Cost $4
  • 17 Comments

I have found that a poached egg is the key to transforming a plate of cooked vegetables or a plain salad into a satisfying meal. Simply slide a tender, gooey (or not, depending on how you like your eggs), freshly-poached egg atop a pile of something green and suddenly, it’s enough to keep you full until the next mealtime. Here, the egg’s base is garlicky, buttery kale, seasoned simply.

I’m not even going to try to tell you how to poach an egg, since Deb of Smiten Kitchen does such a thorough job here. Just follow her directions and you’ll be as golden as a runny yolk.

Ingredients

  • 1 tbsp extra virgin olive oil Pantry
  • 1 tbsp unsalted butter $1 for a stick
  • 2-3 cloves garlic, chopped roughly Pantry
  • 1/2 medium onion, sliced $0.50 for a whole onion
  • 1 large bunch kale (either Dinosaur or Tuscan kale), stems removed, leaves finely sliced (should yield about 4 cups sliced kale) $1 for a bunch
  • 1/4 tsp each salt and freshly-ground black pepper, plus more to taste Pantry
  • 2 eggs, poached (see headnote) $1.50 for 12

Recipe Serves 2

Directions

  1. Heat the oil and butter together in a large frying pan over medium heat.
  2. Add the onions and garlic and cook for 2-3 minutes, stirring occasionally, until very fragrant. (Note: This is a good time to begin your egg-poaching.)
  3. Add the kale, stir well to combine with the onions and garlic, and then cook for 8-10 minutes, or until the kale becomes wilted and the onions become very soft.
  4. To serve, divide the kale between 2 bowls and top each with a warm poached egg.
  5. Serve immediately.

Category: Meals

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Veggie-Loaded Meatloaf

  • Prep Time 0:15
  • Cook Time 0:35
  • Estimated Cost $11.75
  • 14 Comments

Meatloaf has never been my favorite, but it’s just so damn inexpensive to make, I was determined to find a way to like it.

Here, I stirred moisture-preserving extra virgin olive oil into lean ground beef and loaded the whole thing with fresh vegetables. The meatloaf that resulted was juicy, tender and incredibly flavorful. Feel free to get creative with the vegetables you use. Also, I opted to skip the breadcrumbs, but you could certainly stir in 1/4 cup (Panko would be great) when you mix up the meat.

Note: I highly recommend brushing this with BBQ sauce after baking.

Ingredients

  • 1 lb lean ground beef $3.50
  • 1 tbsp extra virgin olive oil Pantry
  • 1 egg, lightly-beaten $1.50 for 12
  • 3 cloves garlic, chopped Pantry
  • 1/2 onion, chopped 
  • 1 tsp each salt and freshly-ground black Pantry
  • 1 1/2 tsp Ancho chili powder $1.50 for 1 oz.
  • 1 carrot, peeled and diced $0.25
  • about 12 small cherry or grape tomatoes, de-stemmed, left whole $3.50 for a pint
  • 1 1/2 cups fresh spinach, chopped $1 for a bunch

Recipe Serves 3-4

Directions

  1. Preheat oven to 325 degrees F.
  2. In a mixing bowl, combine beef, olive oil, egg, garlic, onion, salt, pepper, chili powder, carrot and tomatoes.
  3. Use hands to mix well.
  4. Divide into 2 equal portions.
  5. Line a 10-oz. bread pan with parchment paper and press half of the meat-veggie mixture into the bottom of the pan.
  6. Top with the chopped spinach, then cover with the second half of the meat-veggie mixture.
  7. Press down to push them together.
  8. Onto a parchment paper-lined baking sheet, turn the meatloaf out of the pan onto the center of the tray and gently lift the pan up, leaving the meatloaf.
  9. Use your hands to shape and seal the edges so the spinach is tucked inside the meatloaf.
  10. Bake for 28-35 minutes, until meatloaf is firm.
  11. Let cool for 5 minutes, then slice and serve with tomato sauce or prepared BBQ sauce if desired.

Category: Meals

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