BrokeAss Gourmet

BrokeAss Gourmet

This chunky guac is simply the happy result of my desire to be more efficient.

One day, I was making my usual “eat-at-the-computer-while-working” lunch of a fried egg topped with a bit of cheese, avocado and a mess of chopped vegetables, when it occurred to me that the whole thing might be neater and easier to eat if I mashed the avocado and stirred the veggies in. The result was so good that I couldn’t wait to make it again, photograph it and write it up. So here you go.

  • ingredients
  • 2 ripe avocados, peeled and pitted $3
  • 1/4 red onion, diced finely $0.50 for a whole onion
  • 4 scallions, chopped $1 for a bunch
  • 1 jalapeƱo (remove the seeds for less spice), diced $0.25
  • 1 red bell pepper, seeded and diced $1
  • 1 clove garlic, minced Pantry
  • 1 carrot, peeled and grated $0.25
  • about 10 cherry tomatoes, halved (or quartered if very large) $2.50 for a pint
  • 1 handful fresh cilantro leaves, chopped $1 for a bunch
  • juice of 1/2 lemon $0.50 for a whole lemon
  • salt and pepper to taste Pantry
Total Cost of Ingredients $10

Place avocado flesh in a mixing bowl. Using the back of a fork, mash avocados until just slightly chunky.

Gently stir in the vegetables, cilantro and lemon juice. Season with salt and pepper to taste.

Serve immediately (or cover airtight and refrigerate for up to 4 hours), with chips and vegetables for dipping or on tacos and burritos.

Makes about 2 cups of guacamole.

This sweet-yet-tart, summer-perfect “soup” makes a glamorous appetizer when served in shot glasses, garnished with a single slice of ripe strawberry. Remember, the higher the quality of your produce, the better the soup will taste, so make this one at the height of summer when strawberries and tomatoes are at their ripest and most glorious.

  • Ingredients
  • 1 pints strawberries, hulled, plus a few extra one for garnish $3.50
  • 1 red bell pepper, seeds removed, chopped $1
  • 1 large, very ripe tomato, cored and chopped 0.50
  • ½ red onion, peeled and chopped $0.50 for a whole onion
  • 1 clove garlic, peeled and chopped Pantry
  • 1/2 cucumber, peeled and chopped $1
  • 1 1/2 tbsp balsamic vinegar Pantry
  • 1 1/2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil Pantry
  • Salt and pepper to taste Pantry
  • cold water, as needed
Total Cost of Ingredients $6.50

Directions

Place all ingredients except salt, pepper and water in a food processor or blender and pulse several times, until smooth. Add water as needed to achieve a soupy consistency. Season with salt and pepper to taste.

Pour into shot glasses, mugs or bowls and garnish with a sliced strawberry or 2.

Serves 3-4.

The brilliance of this recipe lies in the effect that slow-roasting has on most hot sauces. After spending a long time in the oven at a relatively low temperature, your formerly-spicy hot sauce mellows out, making it a suitable coating for a tender chicken. The sweet potatoes provide a built-in side dish, though I like to add a green salad to round out this meal. This is a good one to make on Sunday evening and eat throughout the week.

Note: Thick, almost paste-like hot sauces work best in this recipe (see suggestions below).

  • ingredients
  • 1 4-4 1/2 lb. roasting chicken, giblets removed $8
  • salt and pepper Pantry
  • 6 tbsp thick hot sauce (suggestions: harissa, sambal or Sriracha approx. 2.50-$4.50 for a jar/bottle
  • 2 large sweet potatoes, skin on, scrubbed and diced $2
  • 1 red onion, diced $0.50
  • 4 cloves garlic, chopped Pantry
  • 3 tbsp extra virgin olive oil, plus more for brushing Pantry
  • 1 lemon, cut into wedges, for serving Pantry
Total Cost of Ingredients $13-$15

Directions

Preheat oven to 325 degrees F.

Rinse chicken cavity and exterior under cool running water. Use paper towels to pat it dry. Sprinkle salt and pepper liberally all over chicken. Place chicken breast-up in an 11“x13” casserole or roasting pan.

Working in 1 tbsp increments, rub the hot sauce all over the chicken, outside and inside. Use your hands to gently loosen the chicken skin and rub some sauce in between the chicken’s skin and its flesh. Make sure the whole thing is well-covered. Set chicken in pan aside and wash hands thoroughly.

In a mixing bowl, combine sweet potatoes, onion garlic, olive oil and generous pinches of salt and pepper. Stir well to ensure all pieces of sweet potato are evenly coated with oil and onions and garlic are well-distributed. Surround chicken with the sweet potato mixture, spreading out evenly (do not stuff inside chicken, as sweet potatoes won’t cook evenly this way). Cover pan tightly with aluminum foil.

Roast for 45 minutes with foil on. Uncover and brush top of chicken lightly with olive oil (this helps the skin retain moisture) and roast, uncovered for another 25-30 minutes. Chicken is done when juices from a pierced thigh run clear.

Serve with lemons for squeezing and a shower of fresh chopped cilantro or flat-leaf parsley.

Serves 3-4.

Vegetable Summer Rolls

This recipe proves, time and time again, to be the easiest, cheapest way to convince guests that you are a gourmet chef, specializing in exotic treats. Once you master the basic roll-up technique (it takes time but it’s worth it), feel free to get creative and fill these with everything from grilled pork to poached shrimp and fresh avocado.

Ingredients

  • 10 8" Rice Paper Spring Rolls $1.50 for 30
  • 20 fresh mint leaves $1 for a bunch
  • 1 red bell pepper, seeded and cut into matchsticks $1.50
  • 2 carrots shredded $1
  • 1/2 cucumber, peeled, seeded and cut into matchsticks $1
  • 2 scallions (green onions) cut into thin 2" strips $1 for a bunch

Recipe Serves 10

Directions

  1. Wet a wrapper under the tap or in a bowl of lukewarm water and shake gently to remove excess liquid. 
  2. Lay wrapper on a clean, dry surface. 
  3. Arrange a few pieces of mint in the center of the wrapper. 
  4. Lay 2-3 pieces of bell pepper, a generous pinch of shredded carrots, a few pieces of cucumber and 1-2 slices of scallions on top of the mint, making sure that all ingredients are facing in the same direction. 
  5. Once the wrapper is pliable enough to work with, tuck in the ends and roll up tightly, like a little burrito (don't worry if you mess a few up, this takes practice). 
  6. Repeat until all ingredients are used up.
  7. Serve sliced on the bias with your preferred dipping sauce.