by violetblue
Prep Time 0:15
Cook Time 0:20
Sharing a meal that you eat with your hands is sexy enough; even better when the ingredients drive your senses into overdrive. Pizza has always been associated with love and romance, but the open secret about sexing up the DIY pizza is capitalizing on the aphrodisiac herbs on the cheap while making a pie that would impress top chefs — and a date. Even if that date is you. Basil is reputed to stimulate the sex drive from Sicily to India (and sacred to voodoo love goddess Erzulie); rosemary is an herb of romantic memory and a sprig can be easily stolen from anyone’s front yard in broad daylight. In Italy, sweet basil is called “kiss me Nicholas” (bacia-nicola); rosemary was reputedly named for Aphrodite / Venus and in many early depictions the goddess of love was portrayed clutching or wearing a sprig of the fragrant herb. And it is a weed, my friends, it grows everywhere. Paying for rosemary is foolish. And if you want to go the distance, slipping some overpriced and trendy — yet delicious — Mozzarella di Bufala up your sleeve or in the spacious pocket of your former employer’s keepsake company hoodie is a pretty romantic risk to take for a date. Trust me, it works. So go get down with your hot self and try the Love Spell Pizza.
- INGREDIENTS
- A baguette or foofy artisan “herb slab” bread $3.69
- Tomato sauce (does not need to be “pizza” sauce) $1.69
- Shredded mozzarella $4.69
- Substitution: Mozzarella di Bufala $6.99 or free
- Onion $.89
- Rosemary free if you steal it
- Basil $2.69
Total Cost of Recipe: $14
DIRECTIONS
Preheat the oven to 400; dice the onion — and know that in France, newlyweds were traditionally served onion soup on the morning after their wedding night to restore their libido. Lean back while you chop so you don’t tear up. Slice the bread lengthwise so you have two “pizza crusts.”
Spoon the sauce onto the bread, using the back of the spoon to ensure even coverage; don’t overdo, but don’t leave the edges uncovered. Take the basil and stolen rosemary, use a pair of scissors and clip small bits of the herbs directly onto the sauce, again with even distribution.
Cover it with cheese — remember this is “gourmet” so you can be a cheapskate and use very little cheese just like they do in expensive restaurants. If you stole some of the fancy mozzarella, pre-slice it and press it between paper towels to get the extra moisture out. This is fine cheapo dining, and that means you can artfully arrange your cheese like you’re Jackson Pollock. Sprinkle on the onions, and you’re good to go.
Place the pizzas on a baking sheet (or even tin foil) and in the oven they go. Check on it after ten minutes; your goal is melted cheese, having the onions cooked through and the crust slightly hardened. When they’re ready to come out, set them on a cutting board for five minutes before you slice them. Serve with a large, fancy bottle of microbrew beer with high alcohol content like something from the Stone Brewing Company (average price $3.99/bottle), and you’ve got a sexy meal for two under $20. The rest, as always, is up to you.
Serves 2 hungry lovers, preferably already in bed.
Leave a Comment
What They're Saying
dc, on Feb 6, 01:18 PM, wrote:
Pizza? Romantic? Hey who am I to argue with Dean Martin. As a variation you could suggest the classic Margherita – just fresh mozza and fresh basil and tomato sauce.
yannick, on Feb 6, 06:57 PM, wrote:
hey violet,
as you pointed out, onions might be great to restore libido, but they don’t smell /too/ nice if consumed in large amounts. If you don’t mind this, I have another nice recipe for you: boil about 0.5 kg of onions in creamcheese, for about 20 minutes. meanwhile, cut a piece of pide (turkish bread) in two, so you have 2 flat bits. Put the onion/creamcheese mixture on top of it, add whatever you want (mushrooms, cheese, tomatoes, fish, meat, and stick it in the oven for about 1/2 hour at about 200 degrees celsius (can’t get used to your wicked temperature system). it’s the lazy-bastards-version of what the french call ‘tarte-flambee’
as an alternative, you can stick the ingredients from the original recipe on a pre-baked naan-bread, makes for a /really/ quick meal, which still tastes really nice. (after all, we have better things to do than cook food)
And it’s easy to keep some pre-baked naan-bread in the fridge or freezer. in case you don’t know when you have to prepare a romantic diner on rather short notice. :-)